A Review of Wii Music

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OK, I have tried several times now to find a more diplomatic way of saying this, a way of leading readers to their own conclusion but there is just no way around the truth of the matter.

Wii music is bad, especially bad.

Really and truly. I have almost never found a game that I didn’t like, or that I could not find at least one person in my crack team of test players did not find to be satisfying in at least one aspect until today.

The selection of songs that you start off with is pathetic so I hope you like “Do-Re-Mi” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” because they will be your primary options until you figure out how to unlock more songs, which can be more than a bit confusing with no clear path laid out for unlocking them.

Next up is the controls. Sure, they make great use of swinging and playing with the Wii remote on most of the instruments but there is just one major problem: the so-called “controls” offer you surprisingly little control over the game. When you are playing music you have no control over the notes. The game depends solely on the gross controls. Considering that the Wii remote has 9 buttons, counting each direction on the Dpad, this is a real let-down! Your only real way to improvise is with tempo.

Speaking of tempo it doesn’t actually matter in most parts of the game. Go ahead speed through “My grandfathers clock”. It won’t impact your score in the least. Seriously, we tried not touching it at all and still progressed on to the next level. The only place tempo does matter is in Mii Maestro, your conducting mode. There the tempo controls are painfully over-sensitive. A small flick of your wrist is enough to send the chorus wailing into overdrive or the violins bowing at break neck speeds. That is not to say it is not hysterical to watch but annoying for the player.

What is the only conceivable thing that could make these “Jams” worse? Why recording them to watch over and over again. Actually the makers of the game think you want to watch your quartet of Mii’s replay Do-re-mi over and over again, to keep for posterity or send to your friends. Just in case they wanted to blackmail you a few years down the road.

The only market that I can think of for this title is very young children who are long on the patience. There are just so many of them in this world.

With its song list primarily from the public domain, controls that are way to basic to be challenging to an adult, a score system that seems to have no impact on the game at all, video that no one would watch and a convoluted song unlocking method all I can say is don’t buy or rent this game for any player over the age of six.

All Songs Unlockable in The Game

* Legend of Zelda Overworld Theme

* Super Mario Bros. Theme

* F-Zero Mute City

* Animal Crossing Wild World

* Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

* Yankee Doodle

* Ode to Joy

* Material Girl

* Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

* Do Re Mi

* Carmen

* My Grandfather’s Clock

* Eine Kleine Nachtmusik

* Frere Jacques

* Sur le pont d’Avignon

* The Flea Waltz

* Turkey in the Straw

* Oh, My Darling Clementine

* Scarborough Fair

* Long, Long Ago

* Little Hans

* O Christmas Tree

* From Santurtzi to Bilbao

* Sakura Sakura

* Troika

* La Bamba

* Over the Waves

* La Cucaracha

* There’s Chariots of Fire

* Daydream Believer

* I’ll Be There

* Every Breath You Take

* I’ve Never Been Me

* Please Mr. Postman

* September

* Sukiyaki

* The Loco-Motion

* Woman

* Jingle Bell Rock

* Bridal Chorus

Instruments You Could Play

*Marimba

*Folk Guitar

*Marching Drum

*Piano

*Violin

*Western Concert Flute

*Harp

*Electric Guitar

*Conga Drum

*Clarinet

*Taiko Drum

*Accordion

*Ukulele

*Drums

*Electric Bass Guitar

*Cowbell

*Saxophone

*Sitar

*Cheerleader

*Harpsichord

*Cello

*Harmonica

*Shamisen

*Timpani

*String Bass

*Trumpet

*Handbell

*Steel Drum

*Banjo

*Timbales

*Famicom

* Dog