Review: McDonalds the Video Game on MySpace

I don’t even know what to say… (4 out of 5)

Being a parent, I eat at McDonald’s more than I ever want to. So, when I was browsing around MySpace on some of their new applications that they have added, I came across "McDonald’s Video Game" application, and I just could not resist playing it. Of course, my kids are all standing around me, so I had to do the tutorial quicker than I would have liked to. Needless to say, I got fired for bankrupting the company asap…

Game basics – Ok, so you are one of the big players in McDonald’s corporation and you have to run everything from the land and cows to the slaughter houses to the stores and the corporation headquarters. It’s a lot, yes. So, my suggestion is to start with the tutorial to make sure that you at least understand everything a little bit. Here is what you’ll have to learn: the layout of the game, the buttons that control how you switch back and forth to the different areas of the game, how to raise crops and cattle, how to slaughter the cattle for the patties, how to manage your employees, and how to manage the corporation so that everyone stays happy (such as the environmentalists, the health officials, and the politicians).

Now for those of you who are activists for either rainforests or animals, then this game probably isn’t the best for you. You actually have to conquer the rainforests and take land from the South American country that you are based in. Not nice, I know. Then, you have to grow both soy and raise cattle for the burger patties. You also have to keep an eye on the cattle’s land so that the cow manure doesn’t mess it up too bad. Once your cattle are full grown, they will be transferred – via big hook in the sky – to the slaughter house so that they can be made into patties. At the slaughter house, you have to keep an eye on how much fodder is coming in for the cows and how much "extra" stuff goes into it. You also have to watch out for sick cows and those with Mad Cow disease. When you have sick cows, you have to pop them with a flame thrower so that people don’t get sick. The cattle are then picked up – again via big hook in the sky – and processed into patties (you don’t see or mess with this part thank goodness).

From this area, you have to control your McDonald’s store. You have to hire counter employees and those to make the burgers. Once you have those positions filled (3 of each), you also have to keep an eye on their happiness and discipline them if needed. You can also fire them and then hire new employees if the ones you have just aren’t motivated enough. And, if you watch long enough, you will see your employees spitting in the burgers… yes, really gross, I know. From the store, you will also move on to the headquarters where you control marketing campaigns (McDisneys, Children Want McDonald’s, McDonald’s for the Third World, and the Food Pyramid), the board who tells you how your cash flow is going, and the PR people who corrupt officials (a politician, a health officer, a climatologist, and a nutritionist).

You have to keep everything in order, or you will bankrupt the company and a big, mad, red-headed clown will fire you and chew you out. It’s actually pretty funny, because the game is really not winable, as you run out of land no matter what. No matter how well you perform, you’ll still eventually bankrupt the company. So, no matter how hard you try, you’ll get the mad clown in the end.

Graphics – Let’s just say that the graphics aren’t really that good. It’s more like ancient, original Nintendo graphics when it comes to the people, the settings, and so forth. But they aren’t bad enough that you can’t tell what everything is and they are detailed enough to see the cows growing up, the burgers being made, and so on.

Overall, I’d give this game a 4 out of 5 simply for the humor factor. I’ve gotten several of my friends turned on to this game, just because it’s funny – and we’re all moms who eat at McDonald’s way too much. So, log onto your MySpace and load this app on your profile. It’s fun to play around with and funny enough to lift your mood while you do.